Wives in Touch - Mentoring

Wives In Touch

with God and one another

Dear Sister In Christ,

Within the span of one month, a few different doctors told me a few different changes in my body were “normal” considering my age. The crowning blow came during my daily morning ritual of lightly rubbing moisturizing cream (heavily laced with glycolic acid and sunscreen) into my face. What I thought was a runaway streak of the white cream turned out to be a hair—firmly rooted to my scalp. Although I feel great, exercise regularly, eat right, can still do cartwheels and beat my teenage kids running, it’s as if my body is part of some covert conspiracy I know nothing about and betrays me continually.

Almost simultaneous with the physical changes I’m experiencing; a few young women (although too old to be my natural daughters) asked me if I would prayerfully consider “mothering” or mentoring them. The timing of their requests reminded me: another normal occurrence within a maturing Body is the living out of Titus 2:3-5.
“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”

Pastors’ wives, especially, are in a prime position to positively affect the women, both young and old, in their congregations. All Christians are Christ’s representatives. However, as pastors’ wives we tend to receive more careful scrutiny than the average woman in the church. That fact challenges me to make my life worth watching and imitating. For some, the thought of scrutiny and imitation makes them want to run for cover. That’s how it used to make me feel. Now it serves as a tool that helps teach me to live a life that glorifies God and blesses others.

In the book, * Help! I’m a Pastor’s Wife, Devi Titus writes, As the pastor’s wife, I am set up to be an example to the flock. The definition of “example” is “to act in such a way as to arouse the imitation of others.” How can people imitate me unless they watch me and evaluate me? Recognizing this basic principle of discipleship helped to change my attitude toward the scrutiny I receive. It has also enforced a discipline in my life that I would probably not have had otherwise.

*Help! I’m a Pastor’s Wife, Edited by Michele Buckingham, Creation House, Strang Communications Co.

In the secular arena, higher education, self-confidence, success in one’s abilities and a rewarding career may be qualities needed to mentor others. Pastors’ wives, however, who display an exemplary measure of spiritual maturity, are indeed a blessing to those God places in their congregations. We show “the way” as we follow Christ, by the word of God and by our lives.

Although there are many ways to mentor, I’ve listed a few essential ingredients that make for a successful mentoring relationship.

• Agree on an objective
What does the person seeking a mentor hope to gain from such a relationship? Are their expectations realistic? If so, are you able to meet them? However flattered you feel in being asked to mentor, there may be another woman better suited for the task. Remember, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18

• Build a relationship.
It’s hard to “speak into” someone’s life when you don’t really know one another. Although the objective of your mentoring relationship is not friendship, be open to the possibility. Become acquainted with the other person’s hobbies, interests, job, birthday, etc. Loving and thoughtful acts of kindness show you care.

• Commit to an agreed upon length of time for getting together and how often. (This may need adjusting.)

• Discuss and define terms, such as accountability.
It is not uncommon for those being mentored to resent the mothering they’ve asked for, especially when they want to “do their own thing.” This is where the love, wisdom and commitment of the mentor are invaluable. “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens [develops and molds his character] another.” Proverbs 27:17

• Encourage
“Do not let unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29

• Follow the Leader
Remember, we are not out to make clones of ourselves, but to model Christ in such a way that “younger women” become more like Him. “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 1:11

Peace,

Meredith R. Sheppard

All Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, Zondervan P

u Meredith R. Sheppard

Wives In Touch is a ministry of prayer and encouragement for pastors’ wives.
Mail all correspondence to: Wives In Touch, 2803 Breaker Circle, Hayward, CA 94545, USA
msheppard1234@earthlink.net

Go to Meredith Sheppard's page or column page.

blishing