God is calling me to edit my life, which is actually something I'm embracing this time around. Why? Because I'm tired. So deeply tired.How did I get here?

First, I'll say that my normal speed is frenetic. I'm a high output person, so doing many things at once and in succession is the way I do things. Problem is, I'm not twenty-five anymore. I can't do everything at the same warp speed without it messing with my health, both emotionally and physically.

Second, I let fear rule me. I became so afraid of not making enough monthly income that I felt I always had to say yes to everything. I can't do that anymore. Besides, God whispered this to me at the She Speaks conference this weekend: "Mary, are you your provider or am I?"

Third, entropy seeped in. I'd say yes to one thing, then another, then another, only to realize I'd yessed myself to frenetic frenzy. Oh how important I felt saying yes. Oh how needed! But oh how burned out I'm becoming.

I'm sure there are more reasons. Deep ones. Clingy ones. Embarrassing ones. But simply knowing the reasons doesn't cure the issue: I'm too busy.

I don't have the emotional space to deeply connect with folks. I can't concentrate on the person God puts in front of me. I feel distracted and edgy all the time. I'm frenzied. And deeply, deeply tired.

So, it's time to edit.

What does that mean?

I don't quite know. But I sense many, many things need to be let go.
Naturally, in the course of life, one thing will change. My agent called me the last day of vacation to tell me she's moving on. So I'll be finding a new agent, by God's grace, timing and help. It's interesting to me because I sense a shift on the horizon, something different. How perfect of God to usher out one agent and invite another, right at this critical juncture.

I will need to say no to some great things in lieu of saying yes to the best (my family, my creative work).

Here's the thing: I want to smile and sing again. To be outside. To engage. To shed my worry. I can't do that with a cluttered life. I wrote recently that I'm wearing far too many hats, and wearing that many will lead to me contracting "task lice."

So would you pray with me? For me? Alongside me?

Dear Lord, help me to erase what needs to be erased, say no to those things You are closing before me, embrace the people You've placed in my life, and serve You in a manner that doesn't burn me out. You edit my life, Lord. Add some periods. Take out some exhausting sentences. Rewrite my story with energy, vigor and truth. Streamline me for Your glory. I want my "the end" to be a mark of finishing well, not limping to the finish. I love You Jesus. So much. Forgive me for doing so much in my paltry strength. For saying yes when You wanted me to say No. For fearing over trusting. Make me over, Lord. Renew me. Refresh me. Not so I can wallow in that refreshment, but so that You through me can be a refreshment for others. Amen.

Mary DeMuth is an expert in the field of Pioneer Parenting. She helps Christian parents plow fresh spiritual ground, especially those seeking to break destructive family patterns.  She is also an accomplished author and speaker and has written several parenting books and speaks at retreats, seminars and conferences.  You can view her website at www.marydemuth.com

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